Monday 16 July 2012

It's all about the legs.

Today is a special day in Calgary. It's hangover day. Today is the day AFTER the Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth and the entire city curls up in a ball and watches reruns of Full House on their couch. Today is a day of recovery. The carnies are putting the rides back on a truck, the cowboys are loading up the cattle and the steers, that guy in the horrible jacket is packing up the superdogs, rock stars are loading their trailers and the food trucks are heading down Macleod Trail.

Our entire city needs a Gatorade, a poop and a nice long nap.

This year more than others because the Stampede was OFF THE CHAIN for 2012. With record temperatures combined with record attendance, amazing shows and bigger and better rides The Calgary Stampede brought in their 100 Year Birthday with a bang.

As promised, I searched out all the GF food on the grounds which there was more than in previous years BUT with the amount of food availiable, it still seemed kinda lame. It was like being granted one wish from a Genie only to see that everyone else in the world got fifty wishes. I'm not kidding here people. To give you an idea, I took some pictures of all the places I COULD NOT eat at. To be honest, I am not all that upset about some of them.
There was no one advertising "Stale and Cold Cinnamon Buns" so I'm not sure...
My FAVORITE!!! PUB GRUB! On the Menu was "Battered Mushrooms" I, of course wonder if the Mushrooms just didn't have enough self esteem to get out of the relationship

I don't think I can eat anything called Fried Dough - Either Elephant or Funnel Shaped
This place was a little exessive - Pizza - Burgers - Churros - Nachos Yadda Yadda

Deep Frid Pop Tarts - Is that Shit even LEGAL????

This sign I looked at with DEEP LONGING! I MISS Those Little Donuts.
But WAIT! Who do I see there purchasing two bags of donuts? WHY IT'S MY HUSBAND!
There is a knife in my back bitches and it's name is gluten.

The father of my children.
He even BRAGGED that it was the first time ever that he didn't have to share the Donuts.
 Mother Fucker.
Now – I did go and visit the GF places on the grounds. I went to the Mexican place that promised Gluten free food. The lady who was serving me didn’t know what I was talking about. How do I know this? She looked at me and said, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” So I didn’t eat there.
The Turkey Leg (side note - what in God's name is that bitch in the picture WEARING? Is that a bathing suit or a bra or just some string licorice? Bleh)

I did however have a turkey leg from this place. I asked about Gluten Free food and the lady was MORE than accommodating. She promised that the legs WERE GF and even pulled out the BBQ Sauce so I could read the label. This is a picture of me eating the SMALL Turkey leg. No shit. The extra large one looked like a fucking ostrich limb. It was delicious.
This is my favorite picture of myself EVER - Seriously, put this shit on my tombstone.

I also saw THIS delightful sign and ordered the meal immediately. It was AWESOME! The steak was tender and flavorful and it was MORE than enough food. That was great too. I also had a corn on the cob that was super yummy

The best meal on the grounds and all Gluten Free!
 Now the Stampede is known for it’s beer, lots and lots of beer flows over the ten days. I however discovered this fine gem which is responsible for hours of happiness on my part.

Once again, the Stampede puts on a hell of a party and I loved every second of it. I am going to go nurse my hangover now and dream of all the great GF things I will eat next year! Maybe the pain of  what I now call "DonutGate" will fade by then....

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