Tuesday 13 November 2012

You SHOULD read this post...


I never understand the “SHOULD” person. You know them, we ALL know them. They have this overwhelming desire to share their belief system of opinions with the world, as if the world gives a shit. I find it totally fascinating. Those that stomp through life sniping opinions like bullets at strangers and loved ones alike completely baffle me. They always start the barrage with “you SHOULD.” I know someone who banned the word “should” from her presence claiming that no one gets to “should” all over her– love it.

A woman literally YELLED at me today for jaywalking with my kids. YELLED at me in front of an elementary school for cutting across a residential street while holding the hands of my spawn and chatting brightly about their day. I was totally caught off guard – which I think is one of the SHOULD people's tactics – and basically just ignored her. Of course I SHOULD use the crosswalk, does the lady not think I know that? I, being an adult of sane mind, weighed the distance to the crosswalk versus the following; my lateness for chiro, the heaviness of my kids backpacks (considering scholastic came in today), the thickness of the snow, the presence of that annoying mom standing beside the crosswalk that I can never get out of a conversation with but I don't remember her name, the fact that the spawn had not yet had a fight after being out of school for six seconds and they would most likely bicker if made to walk the half block in snow pants but they might not if we made it to the car in the next ten steps, the emptiness of the street, the dryness of the asphalt and the fact that I was wearing new leather boots ALL contributed to my decision to cross the street where I did. I made this decision in a milli-second as humans can with our high functioning brains and yet I get chastised by an angry rage-fest. I don’t get it. Why does she care? Why does she think I care what she thinks?

I don’t understand how these people (and let’s be honest here, they are most of the time women) carry through life ordering the human race around and figure that’s a valiant way to pass the time? They must walk in their door at the end of the day so thrilled that they have saved the world from impending doom. Do these knowledge givers pat themselves on the back that they told a stranger that he SHOULD buy two cans of tuna because the price is three cents cheaper that way? Thank God you were there lady, what would THAT guy have done without those three cents today? The know-it-alls always have this underlying implication that you are super fucking stupid and they are just exasperated with your behavior.

The “I’ve had it with you,” tone that implies you are both their responsibility and their nemesis - of which I am neither.

I am getting to a Celiac story here. I took the Spawn to our new Science Centre -a gorgeous facility that always proves to delight kids of all ages. I found a rare and indulgently slow day to go so we ended up spending about triple the amount of hours there as usual. My kids wandered at their leisure from station to station with hoards of staff ready to teach and explore with them. It was so great I ended up texting my handsome hubby to inform him that we would be staying for dinner and not to worry when he arrived home to an empty house that I had taken the spawn and run off to Vegas. He informed me such a thing would never cross his mind but appreciated the heads up.

So the kiddies and I head into the empty cafeteria to grab them some grub. I search through the recesses of my bag to find three corn cakes and an apple. My dinner is served. BUT, the cafeteria has a chicken and rice soup on today and I think, hmmmm, I wonder and SINCE it wasn’t busy and SINCE I was starving I decided to ask about gluten free options in the cafeteria. The chef came out and although she was lovely, she didn’t know much about what was in any of the food and how it was prepared. Because she didn’t make the soup, she didn’t know what was in it and she would have to send someone all the way downstairs to look yadda yadda yadda. This was the same story with the salad dressings and everything else. While chef lady and I were discussing, a woman and her two kids wandered into the cafeteria as well. The eye rolling started immediately, soon to morph into mumbling and then the sighing and last was the huffing. I wasn’t in her way, seeing how it was a grab and go thing; she just seemed irritated with my presence.

After determining that there was bloody nothing there I could eat, I got the kids some crap and sat down to watch them eat while nibbling on some corn cakes. I pegged the woman for a “SHOULD”er and wasn’t surprised when she walked past our table on her way out to pause and snipe, “You SHOULD bring your own food if you are so picky.”

She, like others of this nature didn't have all the information but who cares right? She's busy judging the situation and finding a solution for it. A solution that involves her telling me what I SHOULD do because she CLEARLY knew everything.

I could have stood up and made a scene. I could have gone on and on about my Celiacs and how much of a burden it is sometimes. I could even have gone on the attack. I certainly have the gift of a stellar vocabulary both of the educated and sailor variety and the barrage of stinging insults and soul crushing verbal abuse I could have rained down upon her would have resonated in her mind for years to come.

 But I bit my tongue, because my children were there, because it had been a nice day and I didn’t want THIS to be what they remembered, because to be honest, I didn’t give a shit what this woman thought of me, because I’m not her, and I’m not a SHOULD -ER and I have learned that how you live your life is up to you. For those reasons, I smiled and ignored her. She stalked away completely thrilled with herself which I guess is the good thing. I can only assume that SHOULD-ers don’t have anything else in their lives to make them happy, so let them have their moment in the sun, then smile at your own blessings and ignore them.


Avoid those that try to tell you how you “SHOULD” be. You will never be good enough for them so don’t even try.


PS There are usually plenty of gluten free options available for tourist type cafeterias be sure to call first if you can. I have contacted the Science Centre and hopefully some good stuff gets on their shelves soon.

No comments:

Post a Comment