I didn’t think that I would miss hamburgers. I really didn't. I never considered myself a hamburger lover. I mean, I liked them and all but if given the choice at a restaurant I usually never chose a burger. I DO have to say though that despite the many people against it, I crave a Big Mac every once in a while. I know that the arguments continue that it is made with sawdust and they just called the company 100 % Beef, or that the special sauce is formaldehyde left over from the local funeral home or the bun is made of baby skins. I know I know, McDonalds is as bad for our society as heroin. I get it. I have however, come to realize that good eating mixed with good living must have a level of moderation. You can’t eat only broccoli for the rest of your life any more than you can eat only Big Macs.
You may get out your mommy judgment pitchforks and begin shaking your head in tsking horror right away because I am going to piss your self-righteousness right off. I let my kids eat McDonalds. I also got an epidural with both of them which means to some of you that I broke them long ago so really what different does it make? Anyway, they know it is what we call a “sometimes food” they get it a couple times a month and they love me more so judge away. And I MISS a Big Mac.
My search for a GF Hamburger bun started over a year ago and to this day it continues. When we were on vacation on the Bahamas and the fabulous chefs there made me a gluten free hamburger bun. It was almost impossible to chew and yet fell apart when I picked it up. I need to say though that the food at the Sandals Royal Bahamian was the best food I have ever eaten and despite the fact that I ate there for an entire week, I did not get sick once. Their perfection in everything else and the epic failure with the hamburger bun makes me think that the buns are impossible.
I tried buying hamburger buns at a GF Bakery. They were nine dollars for four buns. Let that sink in for you. It was NINE DOLLARS for FOUR hamburger buns. So they have to be good right? Wrong. Fast forward to sitting around the campfire and trying to eat my lovely burger on my new $2.25 bun, after one bite, I am holding just the meat in my hand, at my feet is a neat triangle of powder that used to be my bun. So when I got my new cook book with a recipe for hamburger buns, I HAD to try it. Why? I don’t know. Even though a 5 star chef and a professional GF baker couldn’t make me a hamburger bun I thought I would give it a go. I can’t explain why I am so stubborn, maybe it’s all the formaldehyde I ate before I was diagnosed.
So I made the GEM Flour Mix which I have to say is delightful and makes a gorgeous loaf of bread. I just don’t think ANYTHING could best the wilily hamburger bun. With the GEM flour mix, I make some lovely hamburger buns. Then I make some coleslaw and sweet potato fries and grill up some burgers.
The first bite was great, the texture of the GEM flour mix is excellent and it has a lovely flavor. But after that first bite, it turned into a powdery paste that just crumbled under my hand. It was sad. It’s the trickey hamburger bun, it is unbeatable. But I rallied and grabbed a fork and ate it that way. In the big scheme of things, a hamburger isn’t the end all be all. But I do miss a delicious heavy, massive burger so I will keep trying, as pathetic as that is. What can I say? I’m a stubborn gal. Meanwhile, I am still going to let the spawn eat McDonalds every once in a while, shake your head again, quickly and call your friends, they will be as equally outraged.
I continue my search… a girl can dream. Maybe I will get an epidural WHILE making a hamburger bun - that should do it.